identity collapse : when who we believe we are implodes

the two most common questions people ask someone new, especially in social situations, are “who are you?” and “what do you do?”. aside from the fact that these questions are absurdly vague, they are a painfully accurate example of how most people see themselves - a name someone gave them along with their job, political leaning, marital or religious status. all external and highly transient factors 

so what happens when their identity, their world comes crashing down. what happens when someone says “you are not your job. you’re not how much money you have in the bank. you’re not the car you drive. you’re not the contents of your wallet. you’re not your fucking khakis.” ~ tyler durden 

the collapse of who we believe we are can pull everything inward - collapsing into the center. it breeds confusion and uncertainty, clashing old identity with a forced new reality

like other conflicts, identity collapse has traditionally been mishandled with the same endless loop of labeling, compartmentalizing, and blame-game that fuels perpetual talk and treatment. while this status quo sounds complex and intellectual, it rarely delivers anything tangible in the present . . . 

the american psychiatric association (apa) publishes the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (dsm-5-tr). it does not list identity collapse as a diagnosable mental disorder. instead, disturbances in identity only appear as a symptom inside borderline personality disorder - a “markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self” - or dissociative disorders

the world health organization (who) in the icd-11 is more direct, folding identity issues into personality disorder severity levels focused on impaired self-functioning. like so many other conflicts, identity collapse is multi-factorial with no absolute certainties

even the oxford english dictionary traces “identity” to latin identitas - sameness - from idem, the same. “collapse” comes from collabi, to fall together. together they describe the sudden falling apart of one’s core sense of sameness and self

without exaggeration, the above ‘professional approach’ is woefully inadequate. identity collapse is one of the most prevalent conflicts people will face - parents after the kids leave, athletes after the career ends, professionals after the title is gone - are left completely unaddressed. and many are left to fade away into the void with no direction or understanding 

the codex can be a beacon. used to light an examination of the past and guide a path into the future 

it casts aside all the checklists, all the labels, all the noise, and asks you to focus on three elements - a compass, totem and chain 

when viewed through the lens of the codex, many conflicts, problems or troubling thoughts can become clearer. it inspires you to ask questions - not for ‘healing’ - but to help you find a more manageable, clearer path 

grim’s compass . . . 

• did i refuse to see this ending coming? 

continuity totem . . . 

• what collapsed in my body, mind, or soul — and what still remains?
  

sacred chain . . . 

• was that who i truly wanted to be? 

the codex is not a book of answers. it is not a magical salve for your pain. it inspires questions - questions that can help illuminate a path to acceptance, alignment, and authenticity in the present 

remember: “nosce te ipsum” ~ grim 

 

identity collapse is one of nine universal conflicts. explore them all →